I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
