I murdered the dance floor call the cops
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
