I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
