Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
