no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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