please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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