I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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