woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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