friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
