sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
