Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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