You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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