Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
