I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i need to put some appletini on your dick
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Im part way to drunk.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
