I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
