Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
