Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
