I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
