So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
