so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
