People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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