took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
