Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
