You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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