Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
