Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
