Porn is love you can see.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I am one with the molecules
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
