break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
