Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
