Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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