I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
