she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
