i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
