i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
