Dual....:-)
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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