I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
