belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I currently don't understand fingers.
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