hotel room ftw
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
