It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
