Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
There was a lot of him and a little penis
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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