the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
