I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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