I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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