ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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