dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
