I will die if light touches me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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