Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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