I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
