I just cut my nipple shaving
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize