omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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