she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
