So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
